It's subpersonalities. We all have them, some just exhibit them more then others...or do they? I've always wondered. If you really thought about it, are you truly the same person you are when at work, with your family, with your closest friends, with acquaintences, with strangers, or by yourself? If you were to sit there and honestly think of all the different behaviors you exhibit it is easy to perceive your multiplicity. Subpersonalities are defined as personality structures we developed to cope with situations we have found ourselves in as babies, small children and young adults. They helped us survive in our family of origin and in our culture.
I think the problem that I run into...in further research some people have said, "we modify our general outlook, changing our model of the universe with the same facility with which we change dress"...I'm not sure I go that far, do you? To go to the extent of modifying your general outlook on life or changing the model of the universe in our minds seems a bit extreme. In doing so, how do you know who you really are or what you truly believe? As awful as this will sound when I am in a large group of people I always wonder, "Is this how this person truly behaves?" It is actually one of the big reasons I do not enjoy hanging out with large groups of people, even 3 people can be too large depending on how easily individuals are swayed. I enjoy learning how the person really things and they really feel, even if they disagree with my own beliefs and thoughts. Even if people annoy me I try to give them the benefit of the doubt that outside of this group this individual could not be so annoying...of course...if a slew of idiotic comments come out of his mouth I do have to excuse myself at some point. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, you are in a group discussing nothing in particular and there always seems to be that one person who makes incredibly stupid comments or rhetorics that are not even related to the discussion and makes you wonder, "did he just seriously say that?" with a look of bafflement and disbelief (of course).
I wonder if those who are able to change their outlook and feelings on life if they truly know what their outlook and what their feelings on life truly are? I would think over time it would be confusing changing your mind so much that it would be difficult to really cement what you believe is true. Hmm...though I have many subpersonalities, I have never changed my opinions. Depending on the situation I may not voice them as adamantly as I normally would, but I do not say things just to be agreeable or things that I do not truly believe in. I'm one of those people if you ask if, "does this look bad on me?" and I think it does, I will tactifully tell you that, "yes...that looks horrible on you...how about this instead?" Subpersonalities in general is just an interesting topic.
Anyhow, completely off topic...as you have gotten older do you find it more difficult to make time for other people outside of your significant other? Interestingly enough I have come to realization on how I want to live my life. I don't want to drive 2-3 hours a day commuting to and from work. I don't want to work 8-10 hours a day...I don't want to eat dinner at 9-11PM...I want to feel like my life isn't just about work...I want to commute no more than 1 hour a day to and from work...I want to spend no more than 7.5-8 hours a day at work...I want to be able to spend at least 1-2 hours at the gym...and I want to have dinner at a normal and reasonable time. Overall, I just want to not feel rushed...I miss the West Coast at times like these...a much slower and relaxed lifestyle. I didn't realize how much I was looking forward to returning until now. It isn't as though I am completely unhappy here, and I will miss the people I have grown to know and they'll always be in my mind. I love the weather here...but I really miss the calm and temperate weather of the west coast. You know where it would be really nice to live? San Diego... :-) California is too expensive though...Oooh...maybe Colorado? I've never thought of living there before, but that could be interesting...
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